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The legendary Yellow-bellied Goanna

Bill, a blacktracker, never got along with his constable. He resented being called Abo, blackie or nigger. One day, while they were tracking a couple of drunks who’d escaped from the local lock-up, Bill spotted the legendary yellow-belly goanna.

Legendary, because traditional belief holds that whoever catches this rare creature is granted three wishes. At the same time, twice as much of the same wish is granted to whomever you hate the most.

So Bill caught the goanna and, twirling it round by the tail, wished aloud, “I want a big house.” Lo and behold, a big house appeared from nowhere along with two big houses for the constable.

“Shit!” said the constable. “Girls, Billy, girls! Wish for some sheilas!”

“Okay, okay”, said Bill. “I want a hundred beautiful girls”. Instantly, 100 pulchritudinous women appeared by Bill’s house and 200 beside the constable’s houses. Just as the constable was about to go rushing in the front door with some of his girls, Bill gave the goanna another twirl and whispered his third wish.

“I want my sex urge reduced by 50 per cent”

sheilas = Aussie slang for girls

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